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| Picture Credits: common-phobias.com |
Yes, Its true. I have Anthropophobia!! Woah, that's a big word. Actually I never even knew a phobia like this existed until today when I Google-d it, but I always feared people.
The thing is Humans are totally different creatures from everything else that is around us. Of course, we all know that. But the thing is, we are gifted with the power to think. What can you think about? Anything and everything. You can think about bad things and good things. I mean, the guy who invented Atomic Bomb, didn't invent it so that it could be used to destroy. But someone else did that thinking. They found out that this bomb had the power to kill lots of people and destroy many places.
Another thing is that people are unpredictable. You never know what's going on inside their heads. They might be smiling at you but planning to kill you for all you know. This is what scares me the most about them. How they can never be understood.
Till a month ago, my only fear was to meet with new people. Because, as I said before they are unpredictable. They might act as my friends but back-stab me. This kept me from making any friends for a long time. I decided that I won't make friends and be alone. Atleast I'll have myself to lean on.
But this isn't possible for a long time is it? For 2 years I have been alone and I can't take it anymore. Maybe that's why they call us SOCIAL beings? We always need someone. So I decided that when I get to college I'll actually start talking. Make friends. You can never know anyone by one look, you have to be with them and get to know them.
While I was planning all this, I decided to do some research about people and learn about them. As my grandpa recently expired, relatives after relatives come to our house almost daily to talk to my grandma and my parents. So, I decided that I consider this as an opportunity and start my research.
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Anyway here is what I learnt.
Firstly, older people are way too stupid, and they don't understand the feelings of this generation kids. The best explanation for this was the day some function had to be arranged for my grandpa.
I was crying cause I missed him, and one of my so-called Aunt(I don't even know how she is related to me) comes up to me and says, "Whom will you call as GRANDPA now? The only one you had is gone"
For a minute I was startled, I was like, "What the hell is she talking about? Does she have any sense? I mean, Yes he died. Yes, I can't call anyone Grandpa now, but why in the world does she have to say that?
I ran to my mom and told her, she was like, "That's how older people speak."
I got really angry. I mean, come on guys make some sense. Just imagine how she would feel, if her husband died, and I go up to her and ask, "Whom will you call as PATI or HUSBAND or whatever the hell you call him NOW? The one you had is gone" Wouldn't you feel like punching such person? Cause I certainly did.
Next thing was that, people are CRAZY. When my grandpa was alive, all everyone did was fight with him or scold him because he was so strict. Everyone used to say, he doesn't allow anyone to take responsibilities, he wants everything done as soon as he says, he gets very angry, and so on. But once he died all I hear is praises for him.
That man was a man of action. He never said He'll do this or that but just did it and proved. He always did his job, giving no trouble for anyone. He was a very strong man with awesome thoughts and will always be an inspiration to everyone.
Everytime I heard someone saying all this, I used to remember whatever they had said before. I just can't understand this you know. Why couldn't you have said it when he was alive? Why couldn't you have tell him what a good man he was? You only wanted to fight with him. But now that he is dead, you wish peace for him. What the hell? Yes, I want my grandpa to rest in peace too but I when I never scolded him when he was alive and praised him when dead. The man was a HERO, and I made sure he knew that I thought so.
Till now we have had like 3 functions for him. The first was the day he died. Next after 11 days, and the 3rd was after a month. On all the three days, and almost the whole of this month, the only food cooked in our house is what my grandpa loved. Those 3 days, his most favorite food was kept on a banana leaf and was kept on our terrace so that my grandpa's soul could attach itself to a crow and come and eat it.They made Holige with Mango Rasayanam for him, and his favorite pakoras and all.
This thing freaked me out the most, because whenever he was alive, and he asked for pakoras and all, everyone used to say they were busy and they can't make now or that they have no mood. But once he died, they made it everyday. And as a matter of fact, they had even more work than they usually used to have.
Why it freaks me out is because when he was alive, you could have made and given him, he would have at least been happy. What's the use in making them now and feeding it to the crows? If a crow comes and eat something from the banana leaf you all clap your hands and smile that my grandpa ate it. You guys have proof? How can you say he came and ate? Can you feel what you eat? For god's sake the only thing we know is that after you die, you are, well dead. And after years after your burial you'll turn into some kind of product for the plants to grow nicely. How can you say that he will come and eat? Instead of feeding crows (which I'm not saying you shouldn't do) why can't you just feed the person when they were alive? They would have felt thankful and probably would have blessed you nicely.
So, that's the 3 things that I learnt.
- Older people are Stupid or in other words they don't know what to talk, where to talk and when to talk.
- People say all crazy things to you when you are alive, but once you die, no matter what you were, you always would be termed as GOOD.
- People feed crows thinking the dead person's soul would have come to eat it, but not really feed the people when they actually need it.
I know many of you might feel there its wrong what I have stated, but that's what you think, ok? When I was a little girl, even I believed that people's soul would actually get attached to some animal and then they come eat it, but as I grow up and started to think, I got these doubts.
Some wise man once said, "Don't believe in what you hear or see until and unless you can prove it with a solid proof." For once, I'll actually listen to someone and ask you, show me the proof that its they who come. You can't can you?
So, you now have two options, and both are absolutely blind ones, cause none of them have proof. You can either believe in what your parents have heard from the great-great-great-grand parents and think that its their soul who visits. Or as a ration man, who has brains think about it and believe in what you think.
I believe in what I think, and that's why I say this again. I FEAR PEOPLE. But this time, in a very different way.
Oh! And conclusion. I swear to god I'm not going to do research on people again. NEVER!
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8 comments:
...wise conclusion:)
What a research and what a conclusion....Well Pooja, your second and third points are very agreeable...But the first one, it basically goes back to the way grief was tackled in that generation...I have seen quite a few deaths in my relatives circle and in the older generation, people would come to you and wail out what you have actually lost and then cry out aloud with the person affected....This actually served as an outlet for the emotions they could not bring out...This generation people are much mature and know how to handle themselves or their grief in trying times...But for that generation that was the method...Just that they fail to realize that things work differently in different age groups :)
that was a good one..
What a research! And all you said is soo true... :-)
Nice analysis Pooja. There is so much in the article every one could relate to.
.. Age and sensibility seem two different things here. People are supposed to learn as they grow! This actually arises the question as to what the bloody growth means. It cant just be the age..
.. And the rest, yea the strange sense of association to the "customs" or "cultures" makes things all the more stupid..
Very nicely done on the analysis front and I loved the design on ur blog. It gives the good ol feeling of a book.. Good going :)
Pooja, I wonder if insensitivity is restricted to "older" folks only? I find the same in middle aged and young ones too. I think it is a very Indian thing to quote a Gita verse and say, as you change from your old clothes to new, this soul passes from this body onto another--when the person is struggling with grief.
Yes, I agree with you completely about not caring when a person is alive. My dad is 78 and everyone tells him not to eat this and that. I usually sneak him whatever he want--a piece of plum cake, that burfi so that he gets it. How does it matter anymore if his sugar level will go that one point higher--at least his spirit is glad.
And yes, folks are considered good when they pass--at least it is way to reconcile with past--forgive and forget
@Amit Ji
Hehee! Thanks :)
@Jaish
True words :). I'll keep that in mind :).
Thanks :).
@Satish Ji
Thanks :).
@Ritvik
Thanks re :D.
@muktamanassu
True :). Even I wonder that many times.
Btw thanks a lot :). I'm really glad you liked it :D.
@Bhavana Ji
I agree with the insensitivity but, I think there is time and place to put out that too right?
Anyways, keep doing that ;). I hope your dad will be happy :D.
Thanks :).
what to comment now, analyzing some monkeys and coming to a conclusion. my say, you may like or not, older people have one thing called experience, and whether crow eating goes to dead or not may be debatable, but if doing so,one feels for his long lost ones, let him or her carry on. why bother. At least some birds are fed at least. And who knows, of the intricate affairs of God. What satisfaction the soul above gets seeing from above, the family is thinking of him and feeding crows for their well being.
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